This will be my last public post about this pregnancy for a while. We’re still in limbo and I’m feeling the need to be really protective of myself and the pregnancy, so I’ll be updating any pregnancy musings in stealth mode :-). I don’t know what will happen or when it will happen, and this is all very confusing and upsetting….bittersweet.
All of you have been incredibly wonderful in helping me get through this, so am giving a quick update.
Still pregnant. Six weeks as of today. Last HCG was 1340. Still not doubling. I swing between 50% -90% in terms of increases, and it’s a wide range that doesn’t bode well. My clinic is advising that we may make it to weeks 8/9, but probably no further than that. They say that when hcg is erratic as ours has been, what they find is that as genes are switched on around the 8/9 week mark, the embryo can’t make the next leap and passes. Unfortunately, I’ve done a ton of scouring on the web and have found the same – it’s quite depressing. Lots of stories of women with low and slow hcg levels that are warned of impending mc, seem to beat the odds for a while and then… Miscarriage at 8/9 weeks.
I’m not happy about it, but there is a certain freedom and peace in acceptance.
We had our first ultrasound yesterday. They found the fetal sack easily and it’s measuring on track, so that’s good. No heartbeat or fetal pole and that’s still normal at this stage, especially given the low/slow hcg. They anticipate that we’ll see a heartbeat next week, but again, stressed that the 8/9 week mark would be especially critical for us.
As you can imagine the 8/9 week mark is becoming like a flashing red light for us. Every day is a step forward in terms of development, but also takes us closer to the danger zone.
We’ll be doing weekly ultra sounds, my next one is Oct 6 (so a little longer than a week to give the bean a little extra cushion time). At that point I’ll be 7 weeks, 3 days.