Posted in April 2015

This time around….

The bleeding started Monday afternoon while I was at work. When something personal like this happens at work, I tend to get confused, I think: this is work, I shouldn’t be miscarrying here, it’s so upside down! As if my body knows somehow to wait until six o’clock…. ha. I stayed for the remainder of the … Continue reading

7 weeks, waiting for a natural miscarriage

We went for an ultrasound on Friday. They were finally able to see a gestational sack but it was waaay too small for our dates and combined with the stalled and slow rising HCG levels, it was time to make a decision. We decided to go off my meds, so that we aren’t unnaturally supporting the … Continue reading

crash point

I should have done a beta yesterday, since that would have been 48 hours from my last one, but I just couldn’t do it. I had a big presentation I needed to do at the end of the day. I didn’t want to be torn: obsessing about the results, feeling scared and hurt leading up … Continue reading

6 weeks +1 day

It’s been a weird day. Extreme morning sickness (and a really extreme thirst) kicked in around 11 am. Hoping that fresh air would revive me, I hoofed it to a meeting, but, by the time I arrived, I was about to pass out. Not in the overly dramatic teenage way, like ermargard I wanna pass … Continue reading

6 weeks

excuse typos – am on an ipad😱. After my last post, we went to the clinic for an ultrasound. My hcg was so low, around 386, they couldn’t see anything. To be on the safe side they told me to stop my meds and continue betas. Either way, we’d manage the end of the pregnancy … Continue reading

24dpo, or just over 5 weeks – in hcg limbo land

The first, most important part of the update is that the pregnancy is not viable. But, I’m still on my meds and I’m still technically pregnant, and I’m still going for betas. Morning sickness kicked yesterday and I also feel like shit. I’m going in for an ultrasound tomorrow to confirm it’s not another ectopic. I’m … Continue reading

18dpo – another miscarriage

This will be short. My second beta today was 143. It was 147 on 16dpo. So a decrease and a stall. I’ve had two other pregnancies start and unfortunately end this way. So I know it means a lot of beta limbo coming our way, as we wait for it to end. You know when … Continue reading

17dpo or Week 4, Day 3

Whew. I’m not gonna lie. I was sweating bullets waiting for my clinic to call about that 147 beta value yesterday. But, instead of calling me, they called DH. It was a chill phone call. I don’t know if they weren’t aware of our exact dates and were assuming we’re 12dpo (which is usually when … Continue reading

16dpo beta #1 – 147

I got my first beta today and I also got my first bout of scary, miscarriage like cramping. I’m not bleeding. So I guess that’s the good news? The bad news is that I can smell the distinct and all too familiar smell of bleeding starting in a pregnancy (for me). My hcg level is … Continue reading


I’m testing on frer every 48 hours. The unlabelled one is for today, 14dpo. Today’s is darker than 12dpo, but lighter than I’d have thought. Now, having said that, I tested early in the day today, instead of at night. I get my darkest lines at night and 12 & 10 dpo were both at … Continue reading