Stickfest May 2012

I’m  35, DH is 37.

When he was young and “anti-establishment” he had a vasectomy.

I was young and had a rough childhood, so the idea of having kids wasn’t top of mind.

The years piled up and we grew up and changed and evolved.

We also had a lot of fun.

At some point I realized I wanted children. He didn’t.  So we spent a couple of years talking about it. Eventually, it reached the point where I started to think that ending our relationship might be my next step to start a family. I was very sad and so was he. But neither of us wanted to force the other into a way of life they didn’t want. We loved each other too much for that. So we talked some more. The years continued to pile up as we talked with each other, our friends, and took a year out for counselling.

One day a single guy friend of ours, (total man whore) asked my DH an interesting question. I will always be grateful to him because of it. Our friend asked, “So…. what do you do on the weekends? Do you guys go skydiving, race car driving? Do you jet off to Monaco at a moment’s notice?” My DH responded that no, we didn’t, we just kinda hang out. Our friend said,” Then what are you waiting for? It’s not like having kids is going to ruin some awesome, action packed life. You have a lot more to gain than you’re going to lose by having kids.”

It was like a light went off. My DH took stock and realized he had been holding on to an old idea of himself and his life. What he wanted was a life filled with love, and me, and children that we raised together.

First we tried IUI with donor sperm. That was an adventure that didn’t really work out the way we wanted it to. Plus we realized we wanted “our” child. Then he had  a vasectomy reversal. It didn’t quite work.

The whole experience  had an upside, it hardened our resolve to move forward as a couple, and a family. We started IVF in May 2012.

This is our story.

Dunh. Dunh. (Cue the Law & Order music)


15 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: Pregnant with possibilities « expecting to be expecting

  2. We have similar stories regarding not wanting kids right away and you coming around before he did and thinking it might wreck your marriage. Same thing happened to us. I come from a huge family where I am the oldest and so I didn’t want kids at first and even when we got married I was fine without them. That was until all my friends started having kids and something clicked! My husband took a lot longer, but finally came around. I sometimes want to kick myself for waiting so long, but that is just the way things happened and how long it took us both to be ready. I am sure you can relate to the feelings now. I am so excited that this cycle worked out for you! Sending you positive thoughts for doubling betas!!! 🙂

  3. Pingback: Pregnant with possibilities « expecting to be expecting

  4. Hi there! I notice in one of your blogs that your RE had a South African accent-do you see Dr Sher,by chance? He is our Dr and we just love him. I was just wondering. Looking forward to your update and hewing good news of BfP and high numbers going up up and UP!!

  5. Hello, I was reading a recent comment you made on another blog and I have a question. But first, I have had 3 miscarriages with each of our 3 FET rounds (I’m currently in the middle of the 3rd). The longest I’ve gotten to was 8 1/2 weeks. And our dr has no idea what’s going on. I read that your dr had you on steroids. what steroids/suppressants did your dr have you on? Were your steroids prednisone? They had me on 20mg all the way up till the day after the transfer, brought me down to 10mg, then stopped after my beta. This might actually give me some hope that you were able to stay pregnant with taking steroids for longer! Did you do anything else? Or did your dr say what immune problems could cause miscarriages? Thank you so much! And I hope this isn’t too hard for you to talk about. thank you again & take car, Caren

    • Hey there I am happy to respond!

      This round we did medrol (same as prednisone) and two intralipids treatments. One prior to implantation, one just after – they help with immune suppression, too.

      All of my test results came back as borderline, but like you, I kept miscarrying and no one knew if it was my eggs or something deeper or both.

      We also used a donated embryo this round which was why I insisted on throwing everything and the kitchen sink at it.

      As much as I’m sure having a donated embryo helped, I have noticed more and more women with RPL on protocols like mine staying pregnant past the 6-12 mark. And that was a big factor in my wanting to pursue it even though my results were always slightly off but never anywhere near requiring intervention.

      I hope that helps. I think the biggest thing in favour of trying is that given your past history with loss, you, like me stand to gain more than you do to lose!

      Also I was on medrol until 10 weeks – which is not usual – that was due to severe morning sickness.

  6. Do any of your posts talk about what it was like coming to the decision of using a donated embryo? We have reached the decision of using a donor egg after 3 failed IVF cycles with nothing on ice. I stimulate well but we don’t make great embryos. I have already reached out to the Donor Coordinator at our clinic and am waiting to hear back about the process. My RE says he feels I am a good candidate. Anyway, I just thought you might have some good words to read about it. 💞

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