I’m 35, DH is 37.
When he was young and “anti-establishment” he had a vasectomy.
I was young and had a rough childhood, so the idea of having kids wasn’t top of mind.
The years piled up and we grew up and changed and evolved.
We also had a lot of fun.
At some point I realized I wanted children. He didn’t. So we spent a couple of years talking about it. Eventually, it reached the point where I started to think that ending our relationship might be my next step to start a family. I was very sad and so was he. But neither of us wanted to force the other into a way of life they didn’t want. We loved each other too much for that. So we talked some more. The years continued to pile up as we talked with each other, our friends, and took a year out for counselling.
One day a single guy friend of ours, (total man whore) asked my DH an interesting question. I will always be grateful to him because of it. Our friend asked, “So…. what do you do on the weekends? Do you guys go skydiving, race car driving? Do you jet off to Monaco at a moment’s notice?” My DH responded that no, we didn’t, we just kinda hang out. Our friend said,” Then what are you waiting for? It’s not like having kids is going to ruin some awesome, action packed life. You have a lot more to gain than you’re going to lose by having kids.”
It was like a light went off. My DH took stock and realized he had been holding on to an old idea of himself and his life. What he wanted was a life filled with love, and me, and children that we raised together.
First we tried IUI with donor sperm. That was an adventure that didn’t really work out the way we wanted it to. Plus we realized we wanted “our” child. Then he had a vasectomy reversal. It didn’t quite work.
The whole experience had an upside, it hardened our resolve to move forward as a couple, and a family. We started IVF in May 2012.
This is our story.
Dunh. Dunh. (Cue the Law & Order music)